Archive for January 26th, 2012
I’m gonna judge “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” by its terrible posters
[UPDATED: New parody pics at bottom of post. And now there is a Tumblr to house the parody posters: What to Expect When You are ACTUALLY Expecting.]
From movieline:
Signs continue to emerge suggesting that What to Expect When You’re Expecting is a real movie with real stars and a very real prospect of opening theatrically…. The latest indication: Character posters! It’s like The Avengers of maternity anthologies! If, that is, the Avengers labored superhumanly on behalf of the beleaguered population of Cringe City.
Who’s got it worse? It’s a tough call, right? I mean, I feel worst for Anna Kendrick, but Elizabeth Banks wields arguably the least convincing baby bump in modern moviegoing. And Cameron Diaz. That face! That posture!
Here are the posters (also available at movieline):
The pictures are bad enough (back to them in a second) but the quotes are atrocious:
- “I’m calling bull$#!%. Pregnancy sucks.”
- “I can wait to meet my baby.”
- “I just have all this extra energy. Plus I’m like crazy horny.”
- “You pee on a stick. It’s pretty idiot proof.”
- “If I knew I’d have a rack like this, I would’ve gotten knocked up years ago.”
These statements make me embarrassed to have ever been pregnant.
I know nothing about the book the movie is based on except that it is famous. I did not use it while I was pregnant and I’m not sure I have ever read it. But when I posted the movieline article on Facebook, my doula (who is as kick ass as human beings come) said “That became a client screening method for me. If that was their favorite resource, we probably weren’t going to click. To be honest, it does have some good info, but you have to wade through so much other junk that I’d rather read something else.”
Other friends on Facebook told me it wasn’t useful. Misty Clifton told me on Twitter that “I hated that book. So much so, I harbor residual loathing several years later, lol. I am definitely not seeing that movie.” @KushielsMoon said, “”What to Expect” is actually one of the worse pregnancy books. It’s condescending and anxiety inducing.” And @rachelcooks followed up with “It’s like, “Here are many details of a rare but horrible side effect of sth inconspicuous. But don’t worry about it!!”" Misty also said, “”Month Four: Your baby is developing ears…AND IT MIGHT BE DEAF!!!! Be sure to follow this routine and diet OR ELSE.”
Anyhow, let’s just go through and categorize what is wrong with these posters:
