scATX: Speaker's Corner in the ATX

[TW: discussions of insensitivity, racism, sexism, rape, slavery, over-sexualization of black bodies, HIV/AIDS]

On Saturday evening, Kelly Oxford tweeted the following:

“Rihanna is not a slut; she’s from Barbados.”

I don’t follow Oxford on Twitter. I don’t know why she is so popular (she has 349K followers on Twitter). Google searches basically reveal her to be Twitter famous. From what I gather, it’s her supposed caustic wit and biting one-liners on her Twitter account that garner her the attention she receives.

Enough about her, though. I’d like, rather, to talk about what she wrote about Rihanna and Barbados.

On Saturday, after Oxford tweeted this, I responded saying that her tweet was racist and sexist. I also mentioned that Oxford had attacked someone else on Twitter (@Farrensquare) because Farren Square had also called her out. In that tweet, I mentioned Oxford’s specific brand of attack: let her rabid followers know the Twitter handle of her critics and then immediately delete the tweets that did so (as she wrote and then deleted that night: “To me a conversation @ is not worth permanent talk for my feed. Keep jokes.”). It is impossible to go back through Oxford’s feed and see the bullying she does via Twitter.

When Oxford decided to respond to me, she did NOT respond to my claims that her tweet was racist or sexist. Instead, she leapt on the opportunity instead to respond to me about her deletion of tweets. And then, from that, I received a shit storm of hate from her followers, something for which Oxford herself did not want to take responsibility. She also claimed later (in another now-deleted tweet) to hate singling people out (“there are a billion people trying to get my attention everyday. I hate singling people out. It was a random pick.”). Uh-huh.

In thinking about this post, I have decided not to go into anymore detail about the bullying and derailing techniques that Oxford uses. Nor am I going to highlight or address specifically most of the hate tweets I received. I may save that for another post. It is always interesting the response one gets for calling out racist ideas as opposed to, you know, actually saying racist things.

Instead, I’m going now do what Oxford clearly didn’t want me to do. She did not want to discuss how her tweet was inappropriate, demeaning, and, yes, racist and sexist. It’s much easier if people are talking about you deleting tweets than whether the people criticizing you have any validity to their claims of racism and sexism and if, perhaps, just maybe, what you said was actually wrong and in poor taste. And, worst of all, NOT FUNNY.

Here goes…

Well, Andy Cuthbert, since you ask with such exasperation, I’d love to explain the “racism” angle. (side note: not sure why you need the scare quotes. Racism is an actual thing.)

I’m also going to spend some time rebutting this ridiculous statement:

Yes, Greg Ogan, Oxford was just joking! The magic blanket excuse that apparently makes it okay to say whatever you want without having to answer for what you’ve said.

First things first.

Read the rest of this entry »

[Cross-posted from my new blog - because that's JUST what I need: scATX Reads. Also, see my general thoughts on romance novels here.]

This blog post is NSFW. The words in it, at least, are NSFW. Naughty, naughty descriptions lie ahead…

What I have read by her:

• Sinful
• Addicted
• Seduction & Scandal (Brethren Guardian #1)
• Pride & Passion (Brethren Guardian #2)
• Temptation and Twilight (Brethren Guardians #3) [MY REVIEW]

Here’s the short of it: NO ONE writes a sex scene like Charlotte Featherstone. Even in the books her Brethren Guardians series, which I enjoyed but am not sure I will eagerly flip back to them in the future, the sex scenes were stellar.

Read the rest of this entry »

This post was originally published on January 26, 2012. The movie comes out today, May 18. And my friend Rose del Rio altered me to the fact that the posters for the movie that give us the guys’ point of view include the tagline, “It’s Too Late to Pull Out Now.” You can see a part of it behind Chase Crawford’s beautiful head (this image is from the movie premiere):

WTEWYE, your movie posters are the worst. I’m going to assume this bullshit gender essentializing and this desire to play off old and tired tropes about men and women around the topic of pregnancy and child rearing plagues your movie, too.

UPDATE: Carlos del Rio has sent me the full poster with the “It’s Too Late to Pull Out Now” nice and big and bright above the picture of the dudes with all the babies:

UPDATE #2: SS sent me this Movieline article: The 9 Most Scathing Critical Responses to What to Expect When You’re Expecting. As SS wrote me, “Glad to see no one’s buying this crap (although too many reviewers were offended the film wasn’t funny (Being offended: ur doing it wrong)).”

If you’re surprised the movie is crappy, raise your hand! Anybody??

_______________________________

From movieline:

Signs continue to emerge suggesting that What to Expect When You’re Expecting is a real movie with real stars and a very real prospect of opening theatrically…. The latest indication: Character posters! It’s like The Avengers of maternity anthologies! If, that is, the Avengers labored superhumanly on behalf of the beleaguered population of Cringe City.

Who’s got it worse? It’s a tough call, right? I mean, I feel worst for Anna Kendrick, but Elizabeth Banks wields arguably the least convincing baby bump in modern moviegoing. And Cameron Diaz. That face! That posture!

Here are the posters (also available at movieline):

The pictures are bad enough (back to them in a second) but the quotes are atrocious:

• “I’m calling bull$#!%. Pregnancy sucks.”
• “I can’t wait to meet my baby.”
• “I just have all this extra energy. Plus I’m like crazy horny.”
• “You pee on a stick. It’s pretty idiot proof.”
• “If I knew I’d have a rack like this, I would’ve gotten knocked up years ago.”

These statements make me embarrassed to have ever been pregnant.

I know nothing about the book the movie is based on except that it is famous. I did not use it while I was pregnant and I’m not sure I have ever read it. But when I posted the movieline article on Facebook, my doula (who is as kick ass as human beings come) said “That became a client screening method for me. If that was their favorite resource, we probably weren’t going to click. To be honest, it does have some good info, but you have to wade through so much other junk that I’d rather read something else.”

Other friends on Facebook told me it wasn’t useful. Misty Clifton told me on Twitter that “I hated that book. So much so, I harbor residual loathing several years later, lol. I am definitely not seeing that movie.”@KushielsMoon said, “”What to Expect” is actually one of the worse pregnancy books. It’s condescending and anxiety inducing.” And @rachelcooks followed up with “It’s like, “Here are many details of a rare but horrible side effect of sth inconspicuous. But don’t worry about it!!”” Misty also said, “”Month Four: Your baby is developing ears…AND IT MIGHT BE DEAF!!!! Be sure to follow this routine and diet OR ELSE.”

Anyhow, let’s just go through and categorize what is wrong with these posters:

1) These are stick figure women with fake baby bumps strapped to them. Even Decker, who appears to be in her last month of pregnancy, is not at all bloated, no red face, no pimples. Nope. She’s just horny with lots of energy!

@KnittingRad‘s response to these picture: “why does Brooklyn Decker have a goddamn basketball stuffed under her shirt?” And @biscuitzombie said: “Brooklyn Decker looks like she is literally smuggling a soccer ball under her dress.”

My currently pregnant friend, KH, told me: “I totally look like that…oh wait, I look like a houseboat.”

2) As @biscuitzombie said: “Also, all the photoshopping and soft angles and smiles, my goodness. Pregnancy must only be a good thing with no side effects!”

My friend, RDR said on FB, “What I want to know is, will this movie address all bizarre things that happen to one’s body? I’m guessing there will be no discussion of ‘good gawd, why do I have so much snot all of a sudden,’ or ‘surprise, colostrum!’”

3) Of these five women, the only one that doesn’t have the baby bump here is the only woman who has actually been pregnant.

4) The hands underneath the stomach. When I posted this complaint on Twitter, my friends said:

• @biscuitzombie: “Well, yeah. It’s the ol’ “Look at me I am but a baby factory” move. Draws attention from anything else.”
• @catvoncat: “I think it is meant to convey, “No, no, I’m not fat! I’m just pregnant!””
• @KushielsMoon: “Well yes, otherwise you might mistake them for fat, & we all know women are completely afraid of being mistaken for fat.”

Now we all know. The hand under the pregnant belly is the universal sign for “I’m PREGNANT. NOT fat.”

5) These look like the covers for “Cosmo: Pregnant Edition.” Diaz’s face next to “Look at my awesome rack!” is best example.

I’m going to go ahead and judge this movie based on these ridiculously terrible, terrible posters. Therefore, as I said on Twitter, I plan on seeing this movie as many times as I saw The Help. And as @snipy said in reply, “can you see something negative times?” If only.

I can’t really say it any better than @diannapevensie said: “I feel sad for every woman involved with that hellfest of a movie.” Or, in shorter form, from Melissa McEwan: “Oh. My. God.”

FINALLY, my wonderful friend @iwriteplays (Laura Birek) is a funny, masterful photoshopper. On FB, she said, “WE NEED TO MAKE PARODY POSTERS OF THIS NOW. PREGNANT LADIES, PLEASE HELP!”  I posted that on Twitter and @biscuitzombie said, “Get ladies to shove basketballs under their clothes and pose with vapid smiles, throw on some garbage quote?” I put that suggestion back on FB and Laura’s response was, “”Nobody ever told me how uncomfortable this basketball would be under my shirt.” What to expect when you’re fake-expecting.” I told her that ALL parodies should then end in “And I’m crazy horny!”

The end result, my friends (as created by Laura):

BOOM!

Also, don’t go see this movie. And if you do, NEVER tell me about it.

Text submitted by MG, my doula. Pic by Laura:

Text provided by me and Mr. Scatx, pic by Laura:

[We are going to do away with “crazy” in future parody posters athttp://whattoexpectforreal.tumblr.com/ because it is ableist. It is here in these because they are mocking the original, albeit, ableist language of the WTEWYAE posters.]

My 3yo, and me by extension, is obsessed with this song by Admiral Fallow:

[h/t]

From EW: “Johnny Depp reveals origins of Tonto makeup from ‘The Lone Ranger’ — EXCLUSIVE“

It was clear from this first photo of Depp and Armie Hammer, released from The Lone Ranger set last month, that Depp was sticking by his word to make this Tonto a radical departure from the Jay Silverheels performance on the 1950s era TV show.

“I’d actually seen a painting by an artist named Kirby Sattler, and looked at the face of this warrior and thought: That’s it,” Depp said in a recent interview. “The stripes down the face and across the eyes … it seemed to me like you could almost see the separate sections of the individual, if you know what I mean.”

Well, not really … Separate sections of the individual?

Depp explained that the lines of paint on the Native American’s face looked to him like a cross-section of the man’s emotional life. “There’s this very wise quarter, a very tortured and hurt section, an angry and rageful section, and a very understanding and unique side. I saw these parts, almost like dissecting a brain, these slivers of the individual,” he said.”That makeup inspired me.”

You can see more of Sattler’s work here: http://kirbysattler.sattlerartprint.com/

Oh, Johnny Depp. SHUT UP.

Read the rest of this entry »

[If you end up getting one, send me a picture of you drinking out of it and I'll post it here. My email: scatx [atttt] scatx [dotttt] com.]

A very good friend of mine, Laura Birek, works for NBC.com building websites for NBC shows. One of the shows she works on and a personal favorite for both of us is Parks and Recreation. Back in December she sent me a picture of a gift that one of her co-workers and friends, Jen McCreary, made for her:

I nearly died with love. This is a Gertrude Beer Stein, which is from an episode of Parks earlier this season titled “Pawnee Rangers.” Leslie Knope, the lead character played by Amy Poehler, created a Girl Scouts-like group of young girls of which she was the troop leader. At one point in the show, while she is discussing what the girls are doing, they go around the room and the girls show off their skills. One amazing child holds up the “Gertrude Stein” she had created (this is the most feminist show on TV):

As soon as my friend sent me a picture of her Gertrude Beer Stein, I wanted one. She put me in touch with McCreary and I learned how to make one myself. And I did:

I also made it my Twitter avatar. And for months now, at least once a week, someone comments on how fucking cool my Twitter avatar is (it really is) and multiple people have asked me how they can get one for themselves.

Here is how:

1) download the picture (McCreary, who created original Stein, told me that this is “just something done for fun (as opposed to profit).” The image of Gertrude was “swiped from the web. I’m assuming because I altered it, it doesn’t infringe on any kind of copyright; but I don’t know, so you know…another reason why it should be a just for fun thing. Also, it’s not like I came up with the idea – that was clearly Parks and Rec! And all its amazing, hilarious genius.” If you own this image and want me to take it down, please let me know and I will kill this post ASAP.):

2) Go to Zazzle.com and select the Gray/Blue mug.

3) Put picture on mug. Pay close to $30 and ship that sucker to you.

4) Get mug. Wash it out. Fill it with beer or root beer or, in Cougar Town style, wine. And enjoy.

DRINK LIKE A FEMINIST!

[UPDATED: New parody pics at bottom of post. And now there is a Tumblr to house the parody posters: What to Expect When You are ACTUALLY Expecting.]

From movieline:

Signs continue to emerge suggesting that What to Expect When You’re Expecting is a real movie with real stars and a very real prospect of opening theatrically…. The latest indication: Character posters! It’s like The Avengers of maternity anthologies! If, that is, the Avengers labored superhumanly on behalf of the beleaguered population of Cringe City.

Who’s got it worse? It’s a tough call, right? I mean, I feel worst for Anna Kendrick, but Elizabeth Banks wields arguably the least convincing baby bump in modern moviegoing. And Cameron Diaz. That face! That posture!

Here are the posters (also available at movieline):

The pictures are bad enough (back to them in a second) but the quotes are atrocious:

• “I’m calling bull$#!%. Pregnancy sucks.”
• “I can wait to meet my baby.”
• “I just have all this extra energy. Plus I’m like crazy horny.”
• “You pee on a stick. It’s pretty idiot proof.”
• “If I knew I’d have a rack like this, I would’ve gotten knocked up years ago.”

These statements make me embarrassed to have ever been pregnant.

I know nothing about the book the movie is based on except that it is famous. I did not use it while I was pregnant and I’m not sure I have ever read it. But when I posted the movieline article on Facebook, my doula (who is as kick ass as human beings come) said “That became a client screening method for me. If that was their favorite resource, we probably weren’t going to click. To be honest, it does have some good info, but you have to wade through so much other junk that I’d rather read something else.”

Other friends on Facebook told me it wasn’t useful. Misty Clifton told me on Twitter that “I hated that book. So much so, I harbor residual loathing several years later, lol. I am definitely not seeing that movie.” @KushielsMoon said, “”What to Expect” is actually one of the worse pregnancy books. It’s condescending and anxiety inducing.” And @rachelcooks followed up with “It’s like, “Here are many details of a rare but horrible side effect of sth inconspicuous. But don’t worry about it!!”" Misty also said, “”Month Four: Your baby is developing ears…AND IT MIGHT BE DEAF!!!! Be sure to follow this routine and diet OR ELSE.”

Anyhow, let’s just go through and categorize what is wrong with these posters:

Read the rest of this entry »

In case you don’t why I have that picture there on the right of the “Be a Man” license tag, it originally came from this post written on July 29, 2010.  My partner (who originally spotted the car) saw it again in April 2011 and I wrote about it then, too.

Therefore, “Be a Man” has been an ongoing joke within my family and part of my overall online personality for (what feels like) a long time now (it’s the one picture here on the blog and is also my Twitter avatar).

Last night, my partner and I sat down to watch what has become our most favorite show on TV: Parks and Recreation.

Literally 30 seconds into the episode (which you can watch here), we learn that Ron Swanson (perhaps one of the greatest TV characters ever) is a troop leader for the boys-only Pawnee Rangers. And that he personally wrote the survival guide. And it contains one page and a single line of text that reads:

1. Be a man.

That would have been a funny joke had we not had a connection to that phrase via that ridiculous Texas license tag.

Then later last night, I sent Melissa McEwan (of Shakesville fame) a tweet about it because she and I have previously discussed our shared love for both Parks and Rec and, in particular, Ron Swanson.

I tweeted her:

Ron Swanson’s entire Pawnee Ranger handbook is what’s written on the license tag on my avatar. #uhmazing #kismet #ParksandRec

And in all her awesome glory, Ms. McEwan responded with this gif:

You’re welcome.

Why is she not more popular here in the states?

Two fierce ladies dancing to a piece choreographed by a fierce lady and all broadcast on a major broadcasting network.  Awesome:

Beth Ditto is the shit.

My happiness at this 3-day weekend is expressed in this dance: