SCATX: Speaker's Corner in the ATX

[UPDATED: New parody pics at bottom of post. And now there is a Tumblr to house the parody posters: What to Expect When You are ACTUALLY Expecting.]

From movieline:

Signs continue to emerge suggesting that What to Expect When You’re Expecting is a real movie with real stars and a very real prospect of opening theatrically…. The latest indication: Character posters! It’s like The Avengers of maternity anthologies! If, that is, the Avengers labored superhumanly on behalf of the beleaguered population of Cringe City.

Who’s got it worse? It’s a tough call, right? I mean, I feel worst for Anna Kendrick, but Elizabeth Banks wields arguably the least convincing baby bump in modern moviegoing. And Cameron Diaz. That face! That posture!

Here are the posters (also available at movieline):

The pictures are bad enough (back to them in a second) but the quotes are atrocious:

• “I’m calling bull$#!%. Pregnancy sucks.”
• “I can wait to meet my baby.”
• “I just have all this extra energy. Plus I’m like crazy horny.”
• “You pee on a stick. It’s pretty idiot proof.”
• “If I knew I’d have a rack like this, I would’ve gotten knocked up years ago.”

These statements make me embarrassed to have ever been pregnant.

I know nothing about the book the movie is based on except that it is famous. I did not use it while I was pregnant and I’m not sure I have ever read it. But when I posted the movieline article on Facebook, my doula (who is as kick ass as human beings come) said “That became a client screening method for me. If that was their favorite resource, we probably weren’t going to click. To be honest, it does have some good info, but you have to wade through so much other junk that I’d rather read something else.”

Other friends on Facebook told me it wasn’t useful. Misty Clifton told me on Twitter that “I hated that book. So much so, I harbor residual loathing several years later, lol. I am definitely not seeing that movie.” @KushielsMoon said, “”What to Expect” is actually one of the worse pregnancy books. It’s condescending and anxiety inducing.” And @rachelcooks followed up with “It’s like, “Here are many details of a rare but horrible side effect of sth inconspicuous. But don’t worry about it!!”" Misty also said, “”Month Four: Your baby is developing ears…AND IT MIGHT BE DEAF!!!! Be sure to follow this routine and diet OR ELSE.”

Anyhow, let’s just go through and categorize what is wrong with these posters:

Read the rest of this entry »

In case you don’t why I have that picture there on the right of the “Be a Man” license tag, it originally came from this post written on July 29, 2010.  My partner (who originally spotted the car) saw it again in April 2011 and I wrote about it then, too.

Therefore, “Be a Man” has been an ongoing joke within my family and part of my overall online personality for (what feels like) a long time now (it’s the one picture here on the blog and is also my Twitter avatar).

Last night, my partner and I sat down to watch what has become our most favorite show on TV: Parks and Recreation.

Literally 30 seconds into the episode (which you can watch here), we learn that Ron Swanson (perhaps one of the greatest TV characters ever) is a troop leader for the boys-only Pawnee Rangers. And that he personally wrote the survival guide. And it contains one page and a single line of text that reads:

1. Be a man.

That would have been a funny joke had we not had a connection to that phrase via that ridiculous Texas license tag.

Then later last night, I sent Melissa McEwan (of Shakesville fame) a tweet about it because she and I have previously discussed our shared love for both Parks and Rec and, in particular, Ron Swanson.

I tweeted her:

Ron Swanson’s entire Pawnee Ranger handbook is what’s written on the license tag on my avatar. #uhmazing #kismet #ParksandRec

And in all her awesome glory, Ms. McEwan responded with this gif:

You’re welcome.

Why is she not more popular here in the states?

Two fierce ladies dancing to a piece choreographed by a fierce lady and all broadcast on a major broadcasting network.  Awesome:

Beth Ditto is the shit.

My happiness at this 3-day weekend is expressed in this dance:

Saturday night’s SNL opener is only funny if you assume black men in prison are dumb and ignorant. And also, if you think prison rape is a joke.

I don’t find humor in any of it.

Link to video.

Yesterday, Entertainment Weekly‘s John Young wrote a post titled, “Mel Gibson’s flop ‘The Beaver’: What went wrong?“

Young gives four possible answers to this question:

1. The reviews weren’t strong enough.
2. The Mel Gibson ick factor.
3. The film’s subject matter.
4. Stars don’t hold as much sway these days.

It was in bullet point #2 that I got miffed.  Young wrote:

Despite The Beaver‘s mostly mediocre reviews, critics were generally impressed by Gibson’s performance. In her review, EW’s Lisa Schwarzbaum called the movie an “adventurous character study by a passionate Mel Gibson” who delivers “high-quality work.” But people don’t approach movies in a pop-culture vacuum. No matter the amount of praise he received or the uniqueness of the character he played, that’s still Mel Gibson’s mug being projected onto the screen. And while you’d like to think that most people would be willing to separate an actor’s personal life from his professional work, that’s simply not the case. It’s reasonable to think that a significant portion of moviegoers stayed away from The Beaver simply because they wanted nothing to do with Gibson. “You’d assume at some point America would forgive him,” says an executive from another studio. “But maybe they’re not ready to yet.”

Not sure why Young thinks that I think that it is desirable for “most people” to “be willing to separate an actor’s personal life from his professional work.”  I wouldn’t like to think that at all.

We aren’t talking about people staying away from the movie because Gibson is a dude who sometimes isn’t the nicest guy or because he has different political beliefs than most of us.  This isn’t some issue that revolves him jumping on a couch or saying arrogant things about himself.  Those things may make him have an “ick factor” but they are, in my estimation, forgivable.

Let’s list what would be something unforgivable for which a movie-goer may not want to support an actor or their career anymore:

1. Major anti-Semitic rant.
2. Making sexist comments during anti-semitic rant.
3. A major racist and sexist rant against his girlfriend.
4. OR domestic abuse against said girlfriend. (yes, the charges were dropped but AFTER he plead no contest to the charges)

At what point, Mr. Young, is it okay for me to let someone else’s personal hate for basically everyone who isn’t a white male Catholic (so, you know, that would include me – the non-Catholic woman) bleed over into when or why I choose to support that person’s professional projects? Or, in this case, don’t support.

Gibson’s a sexist, racist, anti-Semitic asshole who beat his girlfriend.  Is that not enough?

One can only HOPE Gibson being a sexist, racist, anti-Semitic domestic abuser is the reason that his movie tanked.  One can only HOPE that is the reason that all his subsequent movies tank.  One can only HOPE that this is the reason that Gibson disappears from the limelight all together and that I am no longer forced to look at his woman-beating mug on my TV.

Oh, and “executive from another studio” – this lady ain’t ever gonna “forgive” Mel Gibson.  This isn’t about me being “ready”, it’s about Gibson being a total fuckwad who shows absolutely no remorse ever for his disgusting behavior and defenseless beliefs.

I’m not sure why the public is expected to ever accept Gibson back into Hollywood.  Why is that onus on us?  The asshole has already ruined Braveheart for me.  I don’t want him going around being in movies I would otherwise want to see, fucking those up, too.

While you’d like to think that most people would be willing to deny a hater and hitter a successful and famous movie career, that’s still gonna be Mel Gibson’s mug being projected onto the screen.

[Tweeted earlier today by @FoxNews: "#JCrew ad shows designer painting son’s toenails pink. Does this cross the line? Check it out & let us know http://fxn.ws/i0K5wj #pinktoes."]

If you go to the link like I did, this is what you see:
[Image of a woman with her child in upper right, he has pink toenails.  The page is headlined: "SATURDAY with Jenna.  See how she and son Beckett go off duty in style."  In the lower right, a jar of pink toenail polish with this quote next to it, "Lucky for me, I ended up with a boy whose favorite color is pink.  Toenail painting is way more fun in neon."  In the lower left is Beckett with his awesome black glasses looking freaking adorable.]

I retweeted FoxNews, adding “OMFG. NOT PINK TOENAILS ON A BBBBOOOOYYYY!!!”

To which the very smart @statesidemenace responded, “I’d really like to know how the phrase “Does this cross the line?” qualifies as news and not pandering.”

And to which the always spot-on @lifeversiontwo said, “What line? The immovable gender line?”

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

[UPDATED: Now we know where Fox got this "news" from: Media Research Council's Latest Target: J. Crew.  I don't see pandering anywhere.]

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This is the latest trailer for the new movie Water for Elephants that stars Robert Pattinson (of Twilight fame) and someone you may have heard of, Academy Award winner Reese Witherspoon:

Did anyone else notice that she talks for the FIRST TIME in the trailer around 1:49 and that it is one of two times in THE TRAILER that a woman’s voice is heard (she gets one other line before the end of the 2:30-minute long video – a voiceover).

Now, I know the book. I just read it.  So, I get that Pattinson’s character is the narrator and the story certainly revolves around him.  But in a trailer for a movie that TOP BILLS a woman who plays a character that is integral and incredibly important to the entire plot, you’d think they could give her some more love than that.

Maybe Witherspoon just doesn’t talk much in the movie.

She sure is pretty, though – amiright?

And then, there’s stuff like this:

Why does this image have Witherspoon in it at all if the article is about him?

She sure does look pretty, though.

Last week was South by Southwest Music festival here in Austin.  On Saturday night I was lucky enough to get to go to the free Bright Eyes show on Auditorium Shores.

I saw Bright Eyes when they were here a couple of years ago.  I also saw Connor Oberst, the lead singer of Bright Eyes, perform in October with Monsters of Folk.

I think his music often reminds me of Bob Dylan: it’s about the lyrics, not necessarily the voice.  It’s poetry.

One of my most favorite songs EVER is Bright Eyes’ “Waste of Paint.”  I have days where I listen to it six, seven times in a row.  I think yesterday I listened to it at least five different times.  It’s just…perfect, in my opinion.

Here is Connor Oberst performing it on Austin City Limits (lyrics):

The end is the best part.

Another amazing song, “Lua” (lyrics):

Last night’s sex talk between father and son has language that I hope to use one day when I talk to my son about sex (from NYT):

After offering his son some pamphlets on the “mechanics” of sex, he launches into The Talk:

“For most guys, sex is just this thing we always want to do. It’s fun. It feels great. But we’re not really thinking too much about how it makes us feel on the inside or how the other person feels about it.”

He goes on to caution his son not to think that “sex is just sex”:

“You’ve got to know that it means something. It’s doing something to you, to your heart, to your self-esteem, even though it feels like you’re just having fun…. When you’re ready, I want you to be able to do everything, but when you’re ready, I want you to use it as a way to connect to another person. Don’t throw yourself around like you don’t matter. Because you matter, Kurt.”

If you’d like to see a video of the scene, go to the NYT blog post where I took this text.  It’s embedded there.

Also, as Purcell_LTD just tweeted:

Those little moments when “Glee” lets me love it by being the show it could be all the time…those make the hard times harder.

This scene between Kurt and Burt – this is that little perfect TV moment that throws into even sharper relief the many moments that make me go, “huh?”.